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09

Apr

Have you seen this jacket? An open letter to the men/women whom stole my jacket: Dear person/persons with awesome taste, Congratulations on acquiring the best item of clothing you will ever own. There are only 2 problems with your decision to acquire this jacket. First, you failed to realize that it belonged to another person: me. I imagine that upon seeing my jacket you were blinded by its glory and overwhelmed by an extreme sense of its awesomeness. At which point, you just had to own it by any means necessary. This is an understandable, although regrettable, decision on your part, one that you will soon regret.  Which leads me to the 2nd problem. For what you could not have known at the time, in actuality no one could have known or ever assumed, is that my jacket is haunted by ghosts (very spooky ghosts as a matter of fact). At night, these ghosts will haunt you relentlessly causing you to lose hour upon hour of precious sleep. During the day they will mercilessly bother you and/or annoy you. They will also get up in your business. For example, they will make fun of you and your ideas in front of you work colleagues and peers. This will cause you to start to second guess yourself as these spirits can be perceptive and very very cruel. Also, their timing is excellent. In addition, you can kiss any intimate relationships goodbye as any and all romantic situation will be circumvented by relentless “OOOOOO’s” and the occasional thunderous “BOO!” - which, in my opinion, is a lot scarier than it sounds. The hauntings will continue indefinitely as these otherworldly spirits will constantly bother you, and in all likelihood will cause you to go crazy, but on the plus side, you will look awesome during the process! You’re welcome, and may god have mercy on your soul. Sincerely yours, HSMJ p.s. it’s obviously a hoodie (how ironic)

Have you seen this jacket?

An open letter to the men/women whom stole my jacket:

Dear person/persons with awesome taste,

Congratulations on acquiring the best item of clothing you will ever own. There are only 2 problems with your decision to acquire this jacket.

First, you failed to realize that it belonged to another person: me. I imagine that upon seeing my jacket you were blinded by its glory and overwhelmed by an extreme sense of its awesomeness. At which point, you just had to own it by any means necessary. This is an understandable, although regrettable, decision on your part, one that you will soon regret. 

Which leads me to the 2nd problem. For what you could not have known at the time, in actuality no one could have known or ever assumed, is that my jacket is haunted by ghosts (very spooky ghosts as a matter of fact). At night, these ghosts will haunt you relentlessly causing you to lose hour upon hour of precious sleep.

During the day they will mercilessly bother you and/or annoy you. They will also get up in your business. For example, they will make fun of you and your ideas in front of you work colleagues and peers. This will cause you to start to second guess yourself as these spirits can be perceptive and very very cruel. Also, their timing is excellent.

In addition, you can kiss any intimate relationships goodbye as any and all romantic situation will be circumvented by relentless “OOOOOO’s” and the occasional thunderous “BOO!” - which, in my opinion, is a lot scarier than it sounds.

The hauntings will continue indefinitely as these otherworldly spirits will constantly bother you, and in all likelihood will cause you to go crazy, but on the plus side, you will look awesome during the process!

You’re welcome, and may god have mercy on your soul.

Sincerely yours,

HSMJ

p.s. it’s obviously a hoodie (how ironic)

  1. lifeinten reblogged this from hipstersstolemyjacket
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    Oh i think i’ve
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  4. hipstersstolemyjacket posted this

1 year ago Short URL 36 notes

hipster/HSMJ/fresh/jacket/

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